Why do I find the bad people? I give and give and I get bologna back. not literal bologna…I’d make a sammich if it were actuall meats :P lol anyways…

So long story short two of my “friends” screwed me over. After everyone being angry around me, the stress of our move, personal shit, he…is getting out of prison soon(its been about 3 years) and now this. THIS is the reason I don’t make many friends. Because of lying jerks like these. I cried nearly the whole day, alone, no one was even online :/ Ah well, sometimes you need to cry I guess. I went so long though….

I hope today goes better. My last day of work til after our move is on the 9th.

                                     ———————————————

xoxox

lyssa

Hope is a funny thing. Some people hope to be cured, freed, liked. It can help you along in life, giving you meaning and drive, but it can also tear you down. No matter how much you try to make your dreams come true, sometimes it’s just not enough. When other people are part of your hope, your life is basically in their hands.

The moment you’re let down is a horrible one, when your heart feels cracked and nothing people say will help you. All I want to do is look down and cry in that moment. But I know I can hope again…so I go on.

xoxox
lyss

How do I show fear? Tears, anger, silence, shaking, shutting down…no one knows I’m scared of something when those things happen. They assume I’m simply sad, angry, quiet, cold or tired. Sometimes I need to let people know something’s wrong. I don’t say anything to them because I don’t know who to tell, who will let me down.
So many things to fear in the world, where do I turn? Paper and pen…

                                             —————-

Something I wrote no to long ago…

xoxox

lyss

I haven’t been on my tumbler in a while, its been several months actually. Anyways, I came back on because I have had a lot on my mind, and there’s no way I can post this to my facebook account. To much drama.

We are moving soon, to a town where I know no one but my boyfriend, again. Why do I keep following him everywhere? Oh right, love. I just wish we did something for me, even if we went on some dates again. The only way he wants to go out now is if someone else asks him to go and he invites me as like an after thought…now I’m whining -.-

I’m in a lot of pain both physically and emotionally right now, I just wish I knew how to properly express it sometimes. I have a really hard time trusting people, yet they can trust me nearly all the time. I listen, give decent input and feel what they feel…what I get back are rumors, distrust and a broken heart. Sometimes I think I put to much in friends, but I digress…

Just getting this out, somewhere into the world makes me feel better. Who knows why I trust strangers with my feelings better than friends. I suppose I don’t really care if strangers judge me, if it were my friends I don’t think I could handle the judgement and ridicule. Oh the writings of a depressed individual, overlooked for its dramatic/hyperbolic words..

                                              __________

**One hour later I’m still loving and reblogging every little thing I find**

(Source: quotefairy, via endless-pizza)

pure-affinity:

And you go from this:

To this:

And wonder what the fuck is wrong with you.

(Source: bex-chan, via seize-every-day)